


in which teach fails and ace laughs

by AsexualAuthor7823



Category: One Piece
Genre: Crack, Finally, Gen, Im tired, Teach dies, Thatch lives, ace knows what teach is planning, ace will probably live, fake devil fruits, imma sleep now, prankster ace, teach fails, whitebeard will also probably live
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25723939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsexualAuthor7823/pseuds/AsexualAuthor7823
Summary: Ace knows Teach's plans, either through time travel, spying, or some cosmic being telling him. Either way, Ace knows. And he has a plan of his own. One that might possibly lead to Teach's terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. One he fully deserves by the way.Basically Ace is a little shit but hey, "we're pirates."
Comments: 1
Kudos: 133





	in which teach fails and ace laughs

**Author's Note:**

> Completely a crackfic. I had this idea at 2:30 am and I didn't have the energy to write it, now it's midnight the next day, still don't have the energy, but I'm bored. And who sleeps anymore?

It all started with the stupid fruit, everyone knows that. Ace knew that... somehow. 

So when Ace first figured it out, he was prepared. Grabbing fifteen apples from the kitchen--something Thatch is really gonna hate him for but hey, this is for his life, and Pops', and his own--and Ace got to work. 

Teach, well, he had been searching for this fruit after hearing about it. He wanted it, he didn't know how exactly he was going to find it. Until he got an idea, the Whitebeards. They formed their crew based on family, all he had to do was be family, it was easy. Whitebeard was nothing like he was in his prime anymore. So Teach stayed, he knew that at one point in this journey, Teach would come across it, someone would, and he would have it. He just had to wait it out, play the long game. He didn't account for Ace... 

* * *

And here is where the chaos begins. 

"Guys!" Thatch called getting back onboard the Moby, "Look what I found," he explained holding up the Dark-Dark fruit. 

"Whoa!" "Are you going to eat it?" Multiple pirates questioned, though there was something everyone missed, the sinister grin that formed on Teach's face, the dark look that spread, and the darkness that he contained that no fruit could actually be the cause of. It was what he was waiting for, he waited all these years, and here it is. He finally found it, well, Thatch did, but that's all semantics. He will have it by nightfall. 

And everything was good, great even until someone else started climbing up to the deck. 

"Hey, Pops! Look what I found, it's a devil fruit!" Haruta's cheerful voice called from the plank. 

"You too?" A random pirate questioned, "Hey, doesn't that kind of look like the one Thatch has?" 

Now, Teach knew there were no such things as multiple devil fruits of the same nature. Once they are eaten, the user dies, they have grown again, that's the story, there is no exceptions. That's just how things are! But right here, in front of him, there are two of the same fruit, the Dark-Dark fruit. 

"Wait," Marco spoke from Pops' side, "I found a devil fruit earlier, yoi, it's the same one I think," Marco explained. 

This just made Teach want to either cry tears of joy or confusion. Did someone plant these fruits so no one would know that they ate it? 

Either way, the rest of the commanders soon regrouped before they all set sail, and while doing so, they were all talking loudly. Teach raised a brow at the noise, and he was wondering if they knew what was going on. But in every single--EVERY SINGLE--commander's hands, is a devil fruit. Not different ones, no. The same one. 

"Why are there thirteen of the same fruit?" One of the commanders--Izou, Teach thinks it is--asked. 

"Maybe it has to do with the devil fruit abilities?" Ace questioned innocently. 

"No, no devil fruit is like this," Kingdew answered. 

"Maybe Pops' or Marco knows," Fossa shrugged. 

"Why did you even grab the fruit Namur--hey do you know if there is any Fishman with devil fruit abilities?" Blamenco asked. 

As every commander joined the three already on deck, the crew stood in silence. Teach was about to cry because of this situation. Pops, well, who knew what exactly we was thinking. But he thinks he saw Ace smirk a second ago... 

"Sons, what is going on?" Whitebeard asked looking at the commanders curiously. 

"We all found the same devil fruit. I was just walking in the market," Thatch summarized. 

"I was scouting from above when it fell on me, yoi," Marco admitted, still thoroughly confused. 

"I was looking at the swords," Vista answered. 

"We just all found it somewhere," Curiel explained. "Ace found us all and he was holding his talking about how he isn't sure what to do with it."

"Hmmm..." 

"Ace, a word?" Whitebeard questioned with an analyzing glance to the newest commander. 

"Uh, sure," he stuttered before grinned and following Whitebeard into the meeting room. 

"What's going on?" Whitebeard questioned curiously. "I know I saw you leaving the ship with a bag full of something and then come back with nothing back that devil fruit, so?" 

"I was trading fish scales?" Ace smiled awkwardly. 

"That is what Namur left to do," Whitebeard noted. 

"Okay, well, it's a long story," Ace explained. 

"We have time, all your brothers are still trying to figure out why there are sixteen fruits. And I do hope that you know which one is real?" 

"It's this one," Ace admitted holding it up, "and nothing good will come from it. I don't know how I know, but I do. Teach, he is--was--going to kill Thatch for the fruit."

"And now what? Now that Teach has seen each commander with it?" 

"Well, I was kind of hoping to set a trap," Ace smirked, "do I have permission?" 

"Are you sure that Teach is going to do what you say?"

"It's either going to be Thatch or someone else. He wants that fruit, he has this darkness that he hides, but it's there. Even darker than this stupid fruit," Ace explained. 

"Okay... then you have my permission," Whitebeard nodded, "but please do make sure you know which fruit is the real one?" 

"Of course, what do you take me for? An idiot?" 

"Of course not son, but you have seen your brothers sometimes, and trust me, all of you are very well capable of stupid actions." 

"Fair." 

* * *

"Okay, so what are we doing about this?" Izou questioned holding up one of the fruit in question. 

"Well, what if we all have non-devil fruit users all eat them?" Haruta proposed. 

"What if they don't want it?" Kingdew asked. 

"No one is going to force someone to eat it. But if they are willing, maybe we can have sixteen people eat the fruit," Haruta explained. 

"Actually, just fifteen," Ace stated, "Pops' said that he wants to hold onto it in case he comes across something to explain it," Ace lied, hoping that for once it was believable. 

"Okay, well, how about we just sleep on it tonight, tomorrow we can get a better plan, yoi," Marco suggested. 

The fifteen fruits lay in a chest untouched, while Ace goes about the next part of the plan. Which came in the form of informing each commander of the plan, and then hiding. Thatch was in a barrel, Izou who said that he will not damage his kimono due to this stakeout, so he is waiting out on the deck in one of the crows nest. A few other commanders, including Marco, Jozu (who couldn't even hide if he wanted to), and in the end it was only Haruta and Ace who was hiding with the cook. 

While the rest talked in the crows nest, questioning Ace's whole plan and how "he didn't need to make fake fruits." But this was ace they were talking about. 

When midnight hit (more like one in the morning, but midnight sounds cooler) Teach had been sneaking out of the sleeping quarters. He was on a den-den talking to someone, a conversation Marco easily picked up due to the lack of a white transponder snail. 

While listening, Marco could easily draw the conclusion that Teach, indeed, was a traitor. 

When Teach came into the room with the fruits, the three already in there waited as Teach investigated the fruits. 

As he bit into one, Teach noticed right away that it doesn't taste bad. In fact, it tasted like an apple. Biting into the next one, it tasted the same. Apple after apple, and fifteen later, he was about to cry about his failure. It didn't get that far as Teach now has his hands in chains and two commanders on either side of him. (Ace fell asleep--narcolepsy)

"You really are a traitor!" Thatch yelled. 

Some huge monologue from Teach talking about how blah blah blah, they were never friends, blah blah blah, he just used Whitebeard and his crew, blah blah blah, he is going to kill Whitebeard. Honestly Ace lucked out sleeping through that whole thing. 

As Thatch and Haruto dragged out Teach to the deck, every commander and Whitebeard watched in disgust. 

Long story short, Teach failed, once Ace woke up, he laughed. Haruta and Thatch, now knowing what had happened, joined in with the laughter. 

Who makes fake devil fruits to just confuse someone instead of just admitting what is going on? Who you may ask, Ace. And if you ask him the reasoning, he will say, "Sabo was always the one to make plans. Plus Luffy's stupid rubbed off on me after a couple of years."

**Author's Note:**

> What was that? An hour of writing that's what. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it, this was just a stupid thing, so yeah. Peace out.


End file.
